I’ve been thinking about writing this all day, collecting my thoughts and wondering what to say. Honestly, I’ve wanted to say F*** 2020 but 2020 has had some major highlights in my personal life that I can’t ignore. Harley and I rang in 2020 (last year) at home together, drinking champagne and listening to Queen. I am surprised how much foreshadowing that NYE brought for us this year. This year as we rang in the new year to 2021, we didn’t even stay up til midnight.
I have spent the past 12 years of my life working towards this goal of becoming an attending physician. Really my whole life since 7th-ish grade, but who’s counting? Because of the COVID-19 pandemic, I interviewed for jobs via zoom, I accepted an offer and signed a contract without meeting anyone in person. They have literally no idea that I’m nearly 6’2. ( I think this hilarious.) I signed a contract for a job I’ve worked this hard for and the excitement seems almost ruined. I can’t go out with my friends and family to celebrate. The last time Harley and I went out to a restaurant for dinner was the day I told him I was pregnant. It was nothing special because it was a Tuesday and we just didn’t feel like cooking. And the pandemic really started to hit our area the next week.
This year has had so many ridiculous things happen that I feel like I can’t even summarize. Fires, hurricanes, the deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Avery, a global Pandemic with “Anti-maskers,” the passing of RBG just to name a few. Most of these things feel unresolved and are still unsettling to me. It has felt like the end of the world so many times this year.
So signing a contract for a job that I’ll get to start in probably 10 months just isn’t as exciting to me as I thought it would be. Honestly-who knows what will happen in the world in the next 10 months after the true hellfire we’ve experienced this year?
2020 has been a year. While all of these things have been happening, I was also pregnant during this pandemic and delivered my son during it. He is the best thing to happen to me in this life and I suppose I have 2020 to thank for that. I’ve never been closer (and probably will never be) to my husband. We’ve been “stuck at home” since together on and off through the pandemic and really since September when I was on work from home orders due to pregnancy.
I know so many people are hopeful for 2021, I am excited. I’m excited that science has allowed us to develop this mRNA vaccine– I’m hopeful I’ll be able to get it soon. I’m excited to continue to watch my son grow up. I am looking forward to studying hard for my family medicine boards and learning the most I can as I complete residency this year and move on to a different phase of our lives where I’m no longer working 60-80 hours a week and taking a board exam pretty much every year.
2020 has taught me how lucky I am and humbled me in more ways than I can count. I am blessed to have a healthy baby at home with an amazing husband who is a great father, the health of my family and friends.
#wearamask
Tall Momma Doc 